AAAARGH!

What the hell?!?

Last night about 9pm I went to nurse Carter and he just screamed constantly while I was trying to get him to latch on. I relaxed, gave him to Chris and thought to myself, what is the point? This obviously isn't what they say is great bonding. I am forcing my child to be on my breast when he really does not want to be there, so I pumped and fed him a bottle. I decided that I would do this for awhile until he gets bigger and we will try latching on again. I just want things calm. Which calmness has set in... Even Chris mentioned that the house feels more relaxed. I also feel more comfortable with feeding him and taking care of Caleb. The only time I am "tied" down is when I am pumping.

Well, to go along with this story, I pumped for Carter last night and got almost 2 ounces from righty. Then pumped just a little from lefty to make a total 2 ounces. We fed Carter, went to be and exactly 2 hours later he was up again. Then I pumped about an ounce from each breast at 2am. At 4am I was barely pumping 2 ounces, and as the day has progressed I have been pumping less and less. I called the lactation nurse and she told me to keep pumping 10-15 minutes every 2 hours and to take an herb called Fenugreek. I am really hoping that my milk supply returns. I think it is really weird that it has gone down so much. I figured that I would produce more by pumping... I wonder if this would have happened if he was nursing from the breast. I don't know... Carter has slept the best ever this morning/afternoon. I think it is part getting enough to eat and that he has his days and night mixed a little.

Well, enough of my problems...