My paternal grandmother passed early this morning. She was a little Japanese lady with a mean back-hand (ask my husband). Despite living many miles and sometimes whole continents away from her most of my life I have lots of great memories. She was my Grandma Mac. We measured our "womanhood" by when we surpassed Grandma in height. Most of my memories are of her kitchen. Nothing fancy, but it was comfortable, clean and always smelled of fried foods, green tea and rice. She had a chalk board mounted on the wall next to the phone to write notes upon. I used that as my personal message board wishing a Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas or any other Happy holiday we happened to be celebrating that visit. Her sink was always there to play in and clean. Washing, drying and putting away dishes, so many dishes, was what we would do with Grandma after every meal. Staying with Grandma and Grandpa during the summers was filled with Ramen noodles before bed, Nick at Nite in the TV room while folding a plethora of origami shapes, playing Rummikub, and of course swinging on the porch swing. So many memories of the house alone.
My grandfather left us suddenly the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I had just seen him at Carter's 1st birthday party the weekend before. Taking for granted seeing him 4 days later I didn't take the time to talk with him that I should have. That was 4 1/2 years ago. Once Grandpa passed Grandma really never was the same. She moved to California with my Uncle Norio. Her mind quickly left us being taken by Dimentia. She moved back to Iowa into an apartment, but was soon needing more care than my parents could provide. She was moved into a nursing home so she could be taken care of the way she needed. I didn't get to see her much after that. Transporting Grandma was difficult. The last time I saw her outside of the nursing home was right after Kiera was born. That was the only time Kiera was held by her Great-Grandma. I visited Grandma this winter for a short visit. We walked her to a chair in a visiting room. She looked at me for a second like she might have known who I was, but had no interpretable words to share. Dad and I walked her back to her room where she quickly fell asleep. That day was the day I said good-bye to my Grandmother as I had known her. Today is when we lost her body.
There is so much I regret. She tried to teach us how to make Lumpia and Gyoza, our holiday staples. She tried to teach me how to quilt, how to make sushi... I guess I never really held onto the lessons thinking she would always be there to teach again. I wish visiting her more often would have helped her gain her mind again. I wish I would have taken more picture of her with the kids. I wish I would have called her more- I loved getting phone calls from her. Having caller ID you know who was calling, having a Japanese accent you could tell by her voice who it was, but she would still announce "Kate? This Grandma." Makes me smile every time. When Grandpa was still alive they would both be on the line while talking to you on the phone taking turns asking questions and making comments.
She is a great lady that will be missed more than she knows.
We love you, Oba!
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